i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
They are going to name an STD after you.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
