Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
