You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Randomize