Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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