Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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