my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Too much gin, very little bucket
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
