The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
either way he was missing a nipple.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
