You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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