If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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