I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Randomize