i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I party with great urgency now.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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