In America we eat man semen.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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