I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
