So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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