who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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