On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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