I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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