Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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