Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
