blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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