3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
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