I'd wear matching sweaters with you
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Randomize
