Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
