i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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