you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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