this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
