Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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