Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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