The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize