I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
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