walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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