The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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