Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
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They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
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I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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