How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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