There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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