i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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