was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
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i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
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Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
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