Don't you send me to vm
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
