I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Life is so much better after having sex.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Less talking, more tequila
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
