Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
