Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize