my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
