I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
