Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I can't turn off my feet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize