What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
