38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
