I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
