Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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