You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
