If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
