Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
