No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
