This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Randomize
