So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
