I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
