Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
