I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
