Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm just crazy horny about you
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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