Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
