do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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