Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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