lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
