Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Too much gin, very little bucket
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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