Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
