You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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