smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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